IGNITE Your Show-Up
By Shayla A
How you show up is important. I am not saying it has to be positive and that is why it is important. I am saying, “How you show up is important.” It is a learning opportunity. It is a learning opportunity for those around you and for yourself to show up as your most authentic self. Recently, I was sick. I noticed that while I was sick, I gave people more grace when they said they were struggling or were having a bad day. Upon further reflection, I realized when I am having a “star shine” day and feeling like a rockstar, I am more motivating and uplifting to others. I explored my reflection further and wondered if I was motivating and uplifting on my struggling days. Does being motivating and empowering have to look positive and cheery? In this episode of IGNITE, we will discuss how to show up as you are and make a difference, even when you are in uncomfortable feelings and being challenged by your day, week, or season.
According to an article on +ProActiveApproaches website, “Showing up goes beyond physical presence; it emcompasses emotional availability, active engagement, and consistent involvement.” We all have sat in some form of meeting, albeit a board meeting, coffee conversation, GOTR practice, dinner, staff meeting, etc. and not really been there in the meeting. We have our octopus arms holding all revolving elements of our world, balancing and juggling as we navigate each day, interaction, and activity. Our mind is not always present in the present moment. Our body is physically there in the discussion, but our mind is elsewhere. To fully show up our body, mind, and emotions have to be all in the present moment. This requires some reflection and regulation of our own current state of being. It requires acknowledgement of all the octopus arms that are flowing and wrapping themselves around our mental space or our emotions at the moment. It is persevering through the challenge of feeling different feelings at one time. We can feel overwhelmed with irritation and at the same time, feel content while running laps. We can feel sad with loneliness and at the same time, excited for GOTR conversations. Opposite feelings can and do coexist within us. Our Star Power is still shining under the clouds. When we show up with our clouds and reveal how our Star is still with us, we allow ourselves to be emotionally available. We are actively engaged and involved in the present moment for our girls with all of our current emotions and octopus arms making us appear more human. If we are experiencing these types of moments of many emotions co-existing within us, our girls experience it as well. It is important for them to see us in our true “shown-up” self.
Why is this important? Children are great observers. I believe they are better observers than most adults. Showing up in our authentic self models resilience and coping strategies. It models struggling and persevering. Showing up without a mask or cover that hides uncomfortable feelings and struggles, empowers our girls to get through their challenges. It nurtures empathy. It embraces uncomfortable feelings and says they are okay. Showing your girls that you have empathy for yourself, your emotions, and your struggles, empowers them to embrace their emotions, feelings, and struggles. Uncomfortable feelings, strong emotions, and tough struggles are a part of life and will be in everyone’s story. Give the power of showing up to our girls with our Star and our
Clouds. They see us as leaders in this chapter of their season. It will boost their confidence knowing struggle is important for success and leadership. It will boost their self-esteem knowing uncomfortable feelings coexist with comfortable ones. It will empower their emotional stability seeing you show up in your realness.
This sounds good in black and white, coming from another person. These things always do. Actually doing it in real time is a bit more challenging. As we all know, the more we challenge ourselves, the stronger we become mentally, emotionally, and physically. How do we show up when we have been conditioned to believe encouragement has to be positive? How do we show up when we have been taught to put a smile on our face so others will not see our pain. How do we show up and be inspiring when our octopus arms are heavy and being positive is challenging? Brené Brown is always inspiring with her voice and words. She says, “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” That is how we do it. We gather up the courage we are empowering our girls to develop and grow. We gather up the courage we want to be cheered for having during difficult times. We show up with the uncomfortable feelings, the hard-as-hell struggles, and give our girls the motivation and encouragement to see through their hard days, their hard relationships, their hard feelings.
Are we motivating and uplifting on our struggling days when we are not positive and cheery? Yes! We, on our toughest days, are exactly what our young, developing girls need in their most challenging moments. Sometimes a GOTR practice can be the biggest challenge for our girls. Sometimes completing 10 laps is the biggest feat a girl has accomplished. Sometimes telling another girl her feelings is the hardest moment in a girl’s week. Sometimes showing up is the challenge a girl needed to feel successful in her season. As Brené Brown also said, “Sometimes the bravest and most important thing we can do is just show up.” Keep showing up in your true authentic self! Keep empowering our girls to be their true authentic self! Watch the confidence and resiliency soar over mountains!
Shayla A is the Coach Mentor for Girls on the Run Greater Kansas City. Her background comes from the classroom, coaching, day treatment schools, wellness, and advocating for children with special needs. She enjoys empowering and advocating for girls and coaches
in every challenge and celebration. Connect with her for support and assistance this season via call, text, or email. shaylaaranda@gmail.com | 816-284-9770
RESOURCE LIST TO IGNITE YOUR SHOW-UP:
The Power of Showing Up by Daniel J. Seigel, MD and Tina Payne Bryson, PhD
The Art of Showing Up by Rachel Wilkerson Miller
The Vital Importance of Showing Up For Others and Ourselves by PsychologyToday.com
TO WATCH A VIDEO ON HOW TO IGNITE YOUR SHOW-UP: https://youtu.be/xGZBR7TFVGI