IGNITE Your Slow Pace

By Shayla A

I recently had this moment with my four-year-old that reminded me of the importance of a slower pace.  We were rushing (as is the norm) out of the house, into the car.  I am trying to make it go as smoothly as possible by making it fun and turning it into a “race.”  Who can get into their car seat and buckled first- the four-year-old or the two-year-old (with mom assistance)?  As we are both buckling (the four-year-old is slightly ahead, of course), there explodes a yelling, kicking, screaming upset from my very competitive daughter.  She is also like every four-year-old child and very determined to do things herself no matter how hard, difficult, or challenging.  Her dress was in the buckle causing it to not click in.  Regardless that I had stopped buckling her little brother, the pressure of the race and the determination to do it herself, was too much for her brain and emotions to regulate.  So, she erupted.  In that moment, I realized the need to slow things down.  I let her lava erupt and flow for a minute, to also give me time to simmer my own pressures and expectations that were bubbling at the surface.  In that moment, I realized how parallel her self-regulation is to my self-regulation.  In that moment, I realized how important a slow pace is for every race in our day, in our jobs, in our relationships, in our practices, in our lives.  In this episode of IGNITE, we are going to take advantage of our slow pace moments.

Roald Dahl said, “And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places.  Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.”  There was magic in that moment with my daughter.  We made the magic when we both realized how much easier things feel once we slow down our pace when the excitement, fun, and pressures are bubbling up the frustration, discomfort, and overwhelm.  Our GOTR practices are magical in the excitement, fun, fellowship, and empowerment.  Yet, when we “watch with glittering eyes” we also see the magic in the one-on-one walk and talks, the arms around shoulders, and the sit and talks that need to happen in our practices.  Our girls have a full day of expectations, schedules, and relationships that is parallel to our own lives as coaches.  School is difficult for most in some area, just as jobs and school/training is difficult for most.  Schedules are overwhelming with classes, sports, homework, deadlines, meetings, calls, emails.  Relationships are confusing and fragile, exciting and exhausting.  Life is difficult and challenging for four-year-olds, school-agers, and adults.  There is magic in slowing the pace to be the PACE (Positive and Compensatory Experience) and accept a PACE.  

There are teams with cliques.  There are teams with bullies.  There are teams with whispering.  There are teams with trauma.  Life is not exempt from these things and neither are our practices.  Adversity is seen in every person, family, job, sport, life.  Creating a space in our practices to take the slower pace and connect with a listening PACE is sometimes more effective than the cheerleader rally space GOTR is amazing at providing in our practices.  Slowing the pace down for someone is just the remedy for an overwhelming day or practice.  Chelsey Goodan says it well, “Refocus care and attention on her own feelings and needs.  By giving her room to be ‘displeasing,’ a girl or woman can freely express anger.  Which can present itself as annoyance, frustration, hurt, resentment, disappointment, and so many other TOTALLY NORMAL HUMAN EMOTIONS.  It’s wildly stressful trying to be perfect and likable.  Humans aren’t built for that kind of pressure, and without an outlet for those unpleasant feelings it will eventually cause an explosion.”  Be the calm breathing moment after a challenging upset.  Be the walking friend that says, “Life is hard.  Life is challenging.  Life hurts.”  Be the sitting presence that quietly listens to silence as the chaos roars in her head.  Grab your glitter bottle and be the meditative peace your team needs to settle into a practice full of learning, sharing, and accomplishments.  Find and ignite your own slow pace to empower your girls’ life pace!  As the glitter floats, relaxes, settles, and falls, you become the beautiful restoration your team will use to empower their pace!  “Watch with glittering eyes”!

Shayla A is the Coach Mentor for Girls on the Run Greater Kansas City.  Her background comes from the classroom, coaching, day treatment schools, wellness, and advocating for children with special needs.  She enjoys empowering and advocating for girls and coaches 

in every challenge and celebration.  Connect with her for support and assistance this season via call, text, or email.  shaylaaranda@gmail.com | 816-284-9770  

RESOURCE LIST TO IGNITE YOUR SLOW PACE:

Underestimated: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls by Chelsey Goodan

I Am Peace by Susan Verde

I Am Enough by Grace Byers

Seeking Slow: Reclaim Moments of Calm in Your Day by Melanie Barnes

TO WATCH A VIDEO ON HOW TO IGNITE YOUR SLOW PACE: