IGNITE Your Girls’ Stories
By Shayla A
It is hard to come out of a season without a few stories to tell. Stories filled with laughter. Stories filled with sadness. Stories of empowerment. Stories with some tragedy. Every season of GOTR, every season of your year, every season of your life has stories. These stories are chapters filled with adventures, voyagers, and lessons. Each chapter is unique and personal. Each chapter adds to the dynamic of each girl’s story. In this episode of IGNITE, we will discover ways to embrace our story, each girl’s story, and be the chapter that makes a difference!
From the beginning, life is a struggle and an accomplishment. There is pain and joy when we each enter this world. There is pain and joy before we enter this world. That is the beginning of our story, and it continues to be the theme as we grow, develop, experience, and learn. Our entire life story is an “under construction” plan. As Bob Raczka says in his book, You Are a Story, “You are not a finished person. You are a work in progress. You are growing, learning, and changing every day. Even when you grow up, you still won’t be finished. Life is always building you.” A couple weeks ago I had a girl ask me, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” It made my heart smile a bit, because I consider myself “grown up” at the age of forty-four. It also made my heart smile, because it was a great question to ask myself. My answer to her was, “I believe I am still trying to figure that out. And, that is okay, because I want to be a lot of things in my life.” It was the perfect opportunity to give credit to my ongoing story and empower a girl’s developing story. Everything that is presented to us, that we experience, directly affects our stories. We go into careers based on what is presented to us as options. We live a lifestyle based on what feels comfortable and uncomfortable to us growing up. We make choices based on choices others have made. It is important to remember the impact we have on our GOTR girls’ stories.
It is important to keep a balance between encouraging clouds to move away from our girls’s stars and embracing the struggle of the clouds while they are here. Clouds are unavoidable and needed to grow our stories. Without clouds and rain in nature, our Earth cannot flourish, grow, or thrive. Without sunshine in nature, our Earth cannot radiate and become something beautiful. There needs to be a balance in nature or living things will die. There needs to be a balance in our stories, as well. As a coach, we empower and encourage our girls to do their best, always push forward, and overcome challenges. That empowerment does not always have to be in uplifting, joyful discussions. That encouragement does not have to always be in positive affirmations to replace negative self-talk. As a coach, we need to embrace the girls’ own decision-making that empowers her to be her best self according to her own thoughts and feelings. Chelsey Goodan says it well, “If I let someone else determine what’s beautiful for me, it’ll bring me pain, so it’s critical that I work to have my own unique, loving relationship with beauty.” I sometimes replace the word “beautiful” in this quote with “success” or “acceptable” or “amazing” or any other word I am struggling to understand about myself. As a coach, we want to give our girls the power to determine what is beautiful for them, what is a just-right pace for them, what is an amazing friendship for them, or what is a bad or good day for them.
In order for us to be this safe space for our girls to embrace their current stories with loving arms, thoughts, and actions, we have to consider our own thoughts, voices, and experiences. We must consider where our inner dialogue has been rooted and why it flourishes when we give it specific attention. Allowing our own stories to be present and guide our practices is the first step to allowing our girls’ stories to be acknowledged and accepted. When we look back at our struggles and pain, we often times say, “I definitely came out of that a stronger person!” We want our girls to say the same thing about themselves! Some of our girls walk their first full mile in our practices. Some of our girls determine in our practices that a friendship is no longer a good friendship. Some of our girls recognize for the first time what makes their star shine. Every one of our girls learn that she can do hard things and accomplish big goals. It is not up to us as coaches to determine for our girls what is a hard task or how big a goal has to be. It is our privilege, as their coach, to empower our own stories as an example and model to loving ourselves. It is our honor, as their coach, to encourage our own stories as an example and model to embrace the joy along with the pain. We must embrace the starshine and the cloud cover. Otherwise, we are a big ball of radiating light that blinds and distracts from the present feeling, moment, and lesson. We take away the authenticity of life and the many lessons that can be empowering to our girls.
As we wrap up this season, remember, struggle and pain give strength and determination, joy and celebration give purpose and fulfillment. Empower the stars you see in your girls as you embrace the clouds together. Guide the girls through their challenges, allowing the struggle to be there, which empowers her own inner strength. Use your own story to uplift, encourage, and acknowledge the authenticity of life. Use your own stories to trust the girls with their own stories, goals, accomplishments, and successes. What you view as successful, may feel defeating to them. What you see as an accomplishment, may feel self-sacrificing to them. Ask questions instead of giving statements. Share stories instead of overshadowing struggles. Humanizing yourself may be the greatest gift you give a girl as she powers through the editing of her own life story. Share your star and clouds and watch your girls navigate another season!
Shayla A is the Coach Mentor for Girls on the Run Greater Kansas City. Her background comes from the classroom, coaching, day treatment schools, wellness, and advocating for children with special needs. She enjoys empowering and advocating for girls and coaches
in every challenge and celebration. Connect with her for support and assistance this season via call, text, or email. shaylaaranda@gmail.com | 816-284-9770
RESOURCE LIST TO IGNITE YOUR GIRLS’ STORIES:
You Are A Story by Bob Raczka
The Girls by Lauren Ace and Jenny Lovlie
The Story of You by Lisa Ann Scott
TO WATCH A VIDEO ON HOW TO IGNITE YOUR GIRLS’ STORIES:https://youtu.be/MASRsA_w_6c